37 lists of grace

it's been a long time since i've known what to write...

the lessons are still being learned but the thought of attempting to confine them to words has been too intimidating.

i've come to the point though where i can't help but say something. the thoughts aren't revolutionary, but they overwhelm me.

grace.

a word that's slowly revolutionizing my life.

i'm in the middle of 100 days of gratitude. day 37 to be exact. my conclusion after the first couple weeks was that this was turning out to just be a waste of time. yeah, it's nice to reflect on my day with a smile, but is God doing something in my heart through this or is this just another of my ridiculous ideas?

the days count on and i keep recording. recording the random happenings of the day that make my heart swell with gratitude. recording evidences of grace in my life.

i decide to read back through and as i read day after day i see a theme woven throughout. a theme of grace. a theme ringing not of great gifts but of a great Giver.

so this is what Paul meant when he wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:31:

"so whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

this glory-giving, this is what i was made to do. God deserves it and i am happiest when i am doing just that, pointing to Him. when i see these small gifts as gifts of grace from a gracious God and delight in this God, i am worshiping. so this list-making, grace-recording can be an act of worship?

grace.

why would He show me grace? He disowned His own Son because He wanted wretched me to know Him and be accepted and loved by Him.

"Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer..."

and on top of that immeasurable act of grace, He now delights in showing me more? why these golden treetops, shooting stars, laughter of friends, forts built with little sisters? couldn't He have rescued me from my deserved hell and that been adequate? yes, that would have been glorious enough. but oh, grace upon grace that's been given...

"He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (rom. 8:32)

so what shall i say? only may He be glorified because He chose to save a sin-slave like me and flood me with grace. no, i can't stop praising Him over water boiling, aching ears, long talks with mom, car windows down, little-girl pigtails...

and grace.