learning to let go

A sweet memory. A fun week. Long nights of laughter. and I'm lost in the past, drowning in sentimentality. I try to enjoy the moment while I'm in it, but that moment seems to fly by as fast as ever. dragging me with it.

Last.

such a short word, yet it makes my heart cringe.

I dread lasts. even to the point where I dread the moments and memories for fear of saying goodbyes and watching another last fade away.

Joy.

another word so small. yet so hard to hold onto. so hard to choose.

but once rooted deep down, it pervades the goodbyes, the laughter, the tears, the lasts.

Joy,

knowing that God didn't mean for these pains. this isn't how it was supposed to be.

Joy,

knowing one Day there will be no more goodbyes. no more endings.

Joy,

knowing there is One who never leaves me, who I never have to say goodbye to, who satisfies more than trite pleasures.

Yes, I have great reason to be filled with joy.

"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet."

Emily Dickinson