my heart is still

This morning a friend sent me a poem she had read in a devotional book from 1925. I'm not sure who wrote it, but I think they were in a similar place in life as I am.

I'm the kind of person who likes to be busy. I like to have a full schedule, where I'm serving and growing with people. I feel like I'm most useful to Jesus and am getting to know Him best when I'm busy. But this year, God keeps weeding things out of my life, even good things. and in the frustration and disappointment, the quiet and the stillness, He speaks.

"Be still and know that I am God."

Could it be that a slow, quiet year will help me to know God more? Oh, that would make it all worth it! Don't let this time, this struggle, be in vain. Use it to draw me to Jesus and wean me from this world.

I longed to walk along an easy road,

And leave behind the dull routine of home,
Thinking in other fields to serve my God;
But Jesus said, "My time has not yet come."

I longed to sow the seed in other soil,
To be unfettered in the work, and free,
To join with the other laborers in their toil;
But Jesus said, " 'Tis not My choice for thee."

I longed to leave the desert and be led
To work where souls were sunk in sin and shame,
That I might win them; but the Master said,
"I have not called thee, publish here My name."

I longed to fight the battles of my King,
Lift high His standards in the thickest strife;
But my great Captain bade me wait and sing
Songs of His conquests in my quiet life.

I longed to leave the uncongenial sphere,
Where all alone I seemed to stand and wait,
To feel I had some human helper near,
But Jesus bade me guard one lonely gate.

I longed to leave the round of daily toil,
Where no one seemed to understand or care;
But Jesus said, "I choose for thee this soil,
That thou might raise for Me some blossoms rare."

And now I have no longing but to do,
At home, or else afar, His blessed will,
To work amid the many or the few;
Thus, "choosing not to choose," my heart is still.