The world tells me that the responsible thing to do at this age would be to save up. and I've started listening to it. I've started clinging to whatever money comes my way. I make sure to tithe, of course. but to give much more than that would be irresponsible. right?
And then I read stories like this one from Lindsey who just took a trip to Guatemala:
Today we visited the Guatemala City dump.
A place that is 1 square kilometer.
A place where 20,000 families reside.
A place where the water is unfit for consumption, even by a rat.
A place where little girls go missing like discarded baby dolls.
A place where vultures circle, searching for something, anything, to prey on.
A place so dark that even hours later my eyes still are not accustomed to the light.
If I am honest, I am frustrated. Really frustrated. Frustrated because I can not begin to reconcile the disparity.The disparity between wealth and poverty. Want and need. Developed and developing. Light and dark.I have questions.
How do I fish shoes out of my overflowing closet after seeing babies walk on trash barefoot? How do I discard leftovers after watching kids line up for the whatever the Compassion project is serving because it is a rare warm meal? How do I return to the abundant life I left five days ago knowing the haunting truth of poverty?
I read verses like 1 John 3:16-17.
"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
How can we hear this and see this and read this and not do anything? How can we hear God's command and act blissfully ignorant? How can our hearts not break?
No, the world's advice is foolishness. I cannot justify the luxuries I'm tempted to enjoy. I cannot live the same. My heart is broken.
The thing that I grew tired of in church was constantly hearing about things like this and the holiness and love commanded in Scripture, sometimes talking about all these things with people there, and then looking back week after week to see that nothing was really and significantly different in our lives than the month before this or the month before that or even last year, and finding no one willing to change that. I couldn't stand it and had to leave the church I was involved with, and had volunteered excessively at, to serve people genuinely hungry for hope and love and holiness outside the walls. Now I'm criticized for not attending church, but looking at these pictures, and how God has led me to give these last months outside their walls, I know that I am not the one missing the meaning of "Church" and "Christianity," the people I left inside are. We won't change the world with the Gospel until we have been changed by it. Oh, may God break our hearts with it!
ReplyDeleteI am also 16, also a musician, also interested in photography, sewing, school, and myriads of other things that seem to need money. I did save, and I bought a good camera, now I'm saving for lenses, books, fabric, and other misc. items.
ReplyDeleteRecently though, our family watched Randy Alcorn's The Treasure Principle, and it has changed to way I view things. The transition to giving more is slow, and even slower for me because I'm selfish and, well, think I NEED the money for everything I'm pursuing.
Your post has really gotten me thinking. Thanks so much. It is time to re organize my financial situation with much prayer!
Joanna
amen, Lauren. Those thoughts are what got my blog started, the realization that this culture values saving your money, staying always financially secure, always have plenty of anything you might ever want. It's so hard to find a "balance" between being a wise steward and being completely abandoned for Jesus. Prayer, prayer, prayer. And when in doubt, we have to remember that our reward in Heaven is so much greater. Thanks for the reminder once again.
ReplyDeletemy heart is broken too. thanks for your words, for your heart...they are beautiful.
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